I aim to be more human. I aim to be less apathetic as a human. Apathy grows, like a tree, and I aim to prune my own.
Username does not check out.
Welp.
I watched several videos in addition to those and feel both better and not, I do understand the simplified analogies in the linked stuff, and they are helpful, as were some of the related content.
I kinda sorta understand the technical stuff, sort of. I’m not in a tech field or anything…
I’m going to keep it there regardless of the negative hype because you never know when I’ll need others to do the same. Im not doing anything wrong so it’s whatever.
I’m up to 10 :)
Thanks for this!
Well I spent the time between when I posted and when you replied looking into various things related to tor, legality, and snowflake more specifically, as well as a bit after your reply since you gave me a couple extra things to look into… (like if there’s a risk of running alongside self-host software like Plex and jellyfin, I didn’t find anything about it so I sort of assume it’s fine…?)…
I didn’t see anything overly bad other than if you yourself use tor, maybe, so took the plunge and… have had a whole two connections already, so yay, I’m a snowflake!
I feel slightly better about myself, like when I started using BOINC crowdsource computing for research in the early noughties. :)
I’m willing to do this but frankly tor intimidates me big time. I don’t know anything about it other than……. Yep that’s it.
I read through the mastodon post, and the project page, and cumulatively I didn’t get any answers that, like, make me feel better.
I assume this is a dark web node sort of thing? Is it safe for me to run the browser extension (idk shit about docker and don’t really want to learn rn), like I’m not putting a target on myself or anything? If yes to question 1, but no to question 2, what does put a target?
My ex tried to teach me to drive stick on the way home from urgent care… my urgent care. Because it was convenient for him at that time. He refused to teach me several times before then because it was inconvenient. (why yes, I did leave him decades ago over abuse, thanks for asking! Tho it was not the specific thing)
I don’t care if manual is superior in some irrelevant way; I refuse to learn now due to trauma. Pretty sure I looked just like this picture.
In some English dialects, we have a middle distance indicator for those sort of… ambiguous distances.
We have:
This here
That there
And we have “just over there”.
If someone said the third option, you’d know it wasn’t far by the use of “just”, but also not close enough to count as here, even if it’s not technically formal language.
Some dialects also have an additional category to indicate things so far you can’t see them, like “over yonder”
That tracks.
I’ve been getting Botox for migraines for over a decade and I mentioned to my neurologist how this seems to have impacted my personality. He was unsurprised.
When your face does things without your input, you might find yourself feeling angry or sad or something, and not actually know why. We have some pretty good mirror neurons that make us share physical signals with other people, and we take on their emotional state sometimes as a result.
13-some years ago I started getting Botox for migraines, and my neurologist is…. Thorough. He likes doing a bit extra for cosmetic reasons… not with me; I actively decline cosmetic injections, even when he asks about my lopsided expressions (nah dude, that’s just how I use my face -lopsided- and I genuinely like those use lines; they tell you who I am. I’m not trying to look young forever as my body degrades around me…). I need some of my expressions, like anger and confusion…
But I noticed after my deep forehead wrinkles faded (when I was 25… so not normal age stuff) that I’m just calmer in general without the full range of expressions. I don’t get flustered the way I used to. It’s like paralyzing my facial muscles dulled my response to things that would normally elicit a strong emotional response.
This is obviously anecdotal, but it really convinces me that emotions are as much about bodily response as actual response.
I also recently got a tcl with google, and haven’t hooked it to the internet.
The OS on it isn’t very good (seriously too many menus in too many places), it sets full brightness and then reduces to setpoint when you change inputs, and I haven’t figured out why it boots up my ps4 every time I turn on the tv, but beyond that I’ve been pretty happy with it.
It’s a very decent dumb tv.
It’s funny to me, but one of my highest ratios was on a torrent that never even finished. It was active for many months stuck at 98%, and the seed never came back. So many people started that one, downloaded what was available, then scrapped the whole thing and found another option…
I’d uploaded ~500gb of a 6gb torrent.
That’s the joy/pain of wanting stuff nobody has available…
When I get decent sleep, I often lucid dream. I didn’t really practice, I’m just usually aware that I’m dreaming (maybe because I’m on drugs to suppress nightmares, so I’m just really aware of dreams).
I have a dream town I frequent, it’s… usually interestingly mundane though. I don’t need excitement often, just things I can’t do in real life, like taking stuff I want (collectibles!!), playing free at the arcade, eating free in fancy places, drinking free in the nice socializing bar, breathing underwater or flying sometimes if it fits the exploration…
It’s a really consistent sort of place that just grows over time, as more places are added and incorporated as welcoming spaces to explore. There’s even a glass water garden/aquarium/pool that reminds me of some final fantasy shit. And recently a massive underground transit structure was added on that has high-speed shuttles to different large attractions, and a whole new residential tower (for some reason I have a room on the 4th floor, it might be a college dorm), so that was an excellent confusing dream to have for several days.
There’s a house in it that’s sort of my landing pad. A mix of a lot of places I’ve lived or been that just keeps growing over time. It’s got dozens of spaces to explore that mix in things I want and things I know, and just some creepy huge empty spaces that will probably get filled in later but are just full of weird junk I haven’t unpacked at the moment.
I like to just explore the town and surrounding areas, and do things with random people. I don’t really do that in life anymore, so. I’d love to build it in VR but I have no idea how to do that. It seems perfectly suited for it.
I used to get a lot of false awakenings when I pushed too hard to control the story or environment, and I found those to be wildly unpleasant (nightmare reasons), so I don’t exert much control now. I can, but it’s more fun to go with the fantastical and let the adventure play out, fully aware that this new space I’m dreaming about is going to be a recurring space I can explore again in different ways later.
You can make or buy something like this if you can’t do clips.
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
deleted by creator
The irony is, it probably would make line go up because people who care would flock to that business, assuming they actually did the thing and weren’t just greenwashing. And assuming they weren’t trying to bend us all over and give it hard without consent over stuff like data mining.
Like, make me a cheap ev, something better for the environment and without all the spyware, and I’ll buy one.
I’d obviously prefer rail, but if I can’t have that at least I want something better… but no I can’t justify it because I have to give up way too much privacy to use the tech, and it’s wildly expensive considering the privacy invasion.
So I just try not to drive now. I leave home, by car, maybe three times a month now. And it kinda sucks but it’s the best I can do.