I put my music collection (40gb) on my phone, listen to it with musicolet. One of my playlists is 72 hours with no repeats, so I don’t get bored with the same music like the radio.

They stopped making shock tarts and my mouth weeps. I’ve been trying different sour candies but nothing compares to homemade.

hey it’s my turn to be solipsist, imaginary friend

you can pay an expert for some upgrades, but they generally don’t do them unless something broke.

excuse me but my raid is going to be a backup just to comply with rule 10.

as a society we can do two things

I’m not risking a flood when I’ve still got torpedoes in the tube

Just be a normal hygienic human being and shit directly on your digital kitchen scale.

As a former line cook who got married during his elf prince years, I have now gained enough flab to be moved to the depressed middle age father circle.

Explains a lot about my dating life tho

I can feel the bones in my feet when I look at this picture.

take your woodchipper, chip up guard A. point to guard b, then the woodchipper: ja or da. point to guard c, do the same. then tell them you are coming back with the woodchipper if you don’t like what you find through the door, and ask them to point to which door you should go through. pointing doesn’t require words.

edit: wait I know, don’t ask questions, just open doors, throw the guards through and see what happens. whoever survives, take that door

Sure. Jeff, Darryl, Norma, Luanne, I got lotsa names.

All hail the Mushroom King!

Oh, they’ll find a way. Let me tell you mylar papercuts leave nice scars.

? I just tested and it worked fine.

I’m pro- turning food into compost. I’d like to help our constituents and anyone who does that.

I could get elected to senate probably, if I was willing to spend fifteen years doing local and state office first. Ain’t nobody got that kind of time I got hospital bills

I led a sing along while I was coming out of anesthesia, only no one knew the lyrics.

Sucks to your regards

what I wouldn’t give for a second horn that played ‘la cucaracha’