There was a dude in Seattle who went by Phoenix Jones. He fashioned himself a masked vigilante, roaming the streets saving people from muggings and assaults.

Turns out he was mostly just picking fights with drunk frat guys. And we’re pretty sure he was dealing drugs and using the superhero facade to beat up his competition.

Yup. My partner’s dad speaks Spanish, German and English. As he gets older, he’s increasingly unsure which one he’s speaking.

I’m a native English speaker, speak ok German, and only a bit of Spanish. Communication is kinda tough.

Same. If somebody speaks to me in Spanish, half the time I react by speaking German.

There are a bunch of aptronymic last names, especially in English culture. The Baker family, the Tanner family, the Shoemaker family etc.

Don’t ask about the Dickinsons.

I woke up every day worried that we’d nuked Spain overnight.

A buddy of mine is a wine steward. He quit smoking and said “Holy shit I can taste wine again. I’ve just been making it up for years!”

I don’t want to have a conversation while my dick is in my hand.

Ever listen to Meshuggah?

You know the difference between chickpeas and garbanzo beans?

I’ve never paid to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

I meant soon.

Same thing with the guy who named it ‘dyslexia.’