They’ve been collecting this data for over a decade and are just now starting to figure out what to do with it.

I am not hand washing a damn thing. It either goes in or sits in the sink dirty.

Mine want a two way conversation. And I have stuff to do.

Mine never shut up. Why was my appointment booking an hour?

“I’d rather kill myself than go to heaven.” - Wm Murderface

X(Twitter) = Biggest Nazi bar on the Internet

You gotta ask Tim Apple about that.

Why bother with Google at all?

Nein, nein, nein. Er ist normaler Kerl.

I rolled savant.

His first last name or his second last name?

“YoU’vE aLrEaDy ShArEd ThIs FiLe. Do YoU wAnT tO rEpLaCe It?”

I would expect some vodka in a drink like that.

Alternate take: I’ll start ordering whiskey smoothies. And yes on the protein powder.

If you can’t afford me at my worst, you can’t afford me at my best.

Anachrocapitalist groomers as the image implies?

Be careful. The universe will maintain balance.
For Donald Trump to die would take someone monumentally good to also die. My fear is we’ll lose Dolly Parton.

Chain of custody

Elin back out because mommy said so.

I don’t have three minutes to beat off, let alone three hours.

Reddit for porn and porn only.